A life coach helps you get clear on what you want, build a realistic plan and stay on track while you work on it. What does a life coach do in practice? They ask thoughtful questions, help you choose small, specific actions and check in on how it went, but they do not diagnose, treat or do the work for you.
This guide walks through what happens in a session, what a coach does and does not do, what research says about coaching, and how to choose a coach you can trust.
Key takeaways
- A coach is a partner who helps you clarify goals, plan action steps and follow through.
- Sessions are built around you: your goals, your obstacles and the actions you decide to take.
- A coach does not diagnose or treat mental health conditions, and does not guarantee results.
- Research on coaching in workplaces shows positive effects, though it does not prove every kind of coaching works for everyone.
- Ask about training, the coaching agreement and how the coach handles issues outside coaching before you start.
What does a life coach do?
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) calls coaching a partnership focused on helping you grow. According to ICF's guide for people thinking about coaching, a coach helps you clarify your goals, line up your actions with what you want and explore your own thinking in a safe space. It also says a coach holds you accountable without guilt or punishment.
In everyday terms, a life coach usually does five things:
- Helps you get clear. Many people know they want change but cannot say exactly what kind. A coach helps you put it into words.
- Asks powerful questions. Good questions help you see choices and patterns you may have missed.
- Turns ideas into action. Together you choose steps small enough to actually do this week.
- Supports accountability. You report back on what you said you would do, and you learn from what worked and what did not. (More on this in our post about how an accountability coach works.)
- Keeps you focused on the future. A coach looks at where you are today and where you want to go next.
What happens in a typical coaching session?
Every coach works a little differently, but many follow a similar flow. Before you begin, ICF says you and your coach should create an agreement that covers roles, schedules and how you will communicate. It also suggests coming to the first session with a list of your goals, the roadblocks you face and your questions.
A common session looks like this:
- Check in. What has happened since last time? What did you try, and what happened?
- Choose a focus. What do you most want to work on today?
- Explore. The coach asks questions to uncover what matters most and what is in the way.
- Decide on actions. You pick small, specific steps and decide when you will do them.
- Close and commit. You confirm your next steps and how you will report back.
ICF's guide says most coaching engagements run about four to six months. Your own timeline depends on your goal and how you and your coach agree to work.
What does a life coach not do?
Knowing the limits protects you. A good coach is clear about them from the start.
| A life coach does | A life coach does not |
|---|---|
| Ask questions and help you find your own answers | Diagnose or treat mental health conditions |
| Help you set goals and plan small steps | Do the work for you or make your decisions |
| Check in on your progress and encourage follow-through | Guarantee a result, a job, a raise or a change in your life |
| Keep what you share confidential, as part of your coaching agreement | Replace a therapist, doctor, lawyer or financial adviser |
| Tell you when something is outside coaching | Pressure you to stay when another kind of help would serve you better |
ICF's guidelines for coaches say plainly that a coach does not diagnose or offer treatment, and that coaches should refer clients to a mental health professional when a client's needs go beyond coaching. The same guidelines say a problem that lasts for weeks and affects daily life calls for a mental health professional. You can read more in our guide to life coaching vs therapy.
Does life coaching work? What the research says
A 2014 meta-analysis in The Journal of Positive Psychology by Theeboom, Beersma and van Vianen looked at coaching for people in organizations. It examined five areas: performance and skills, well-being, coping, work attitudes and goal-directed self-regulation. The authors found significant positive effects on all five, with effect sizes (Hedges' g) from 0.43 for coping to 0.74 for goal-directed self-regulation.
It is worth being honest about what this means. The studies were about coaching in work settings, so the results may not carry over to every kind of life coaching. They show that coaching can help people with goals and well-being on average. They do not promise a result for any one person.
Who can benefit from a life coach?
People often turn to a coach when they are doing okay but want more clarity or follow-through. Common reasons include:
- A career change, a promotion or a return to work
- A big life transition, such as a move, retirement or leaving military service
- Building habits, such as exercise, study time or a daily routine
- Making a hard decision and wanting a thinking partner
- Following through on a goal you keep putting off
How to choose a life coach
ICF's consumer guide gives practical tips that are worth following whichever coach you pick:
- Match the coach to your goal. Ask whether the coach has worked on goals like yours.
- Talk to more than one coach. The guide suggests meeting with at least three and asking each for references.
- Ask about training and credentials. An ICF credential is one option, and the guide says credentialed coaches must keep up with continuing education.
- Check the chemistry. You should feel heard, understood and comfortable being honest.
- Ask about confidentiality and the coaching agreement. The guide calls confidentiality a fundamental part of the coaching relationship.
Be careful if a coach promises guaranteed results, claims to treat anxiety, depression or trauma, or pushes you to sign up quickly. Those are signs to slow down and ask more questions.
When a coach is not enough
If sadness, anxiety, poor sleep or other symptoms have lasted for weeks and are getting in the way of work, relationships or self-care, talk to a licensed professional. NIMH suggests starting with a primary care provider, who can screen for mental health concerns and refer you to a specialist. If you are having thoughts of suicide or are in emotional distress, call or text 988 any time. For an emergency, call 911.
Frequently asked questions
How long does life coaching last?
It varies by person and goal. ICF's consumer guide describes most coaching engagements as lasting about four to six months, but you and your coach set the plan together in your coaching agreement.
Does a life coach give advice?
A coach mostly asks questions and helps you find your own answers, then helps you turn them into action. Some coaches share ideas or tools when it is useful, but the decisions stay with you.
Do I need to be certified to be a life coach, and does that matter?
A credential from a group like ICF is voluntary, and coaches with different training can both call themselves coaches. ICF describes its credentials as a higher standard than informal certifications, so it is fair to ask any coach about their training, experience and agreement.
What should I prepare for my first session?
ICF's guide suggests bringing a short list of your goals, the roadblocks you face and any questions you have for the coach. Think about what you would like to be different in three to six months.
Is a life coach the same as a therapist?
No. A coach helps you set and reach goals and does not diagnose or treat. A licensed mental health professional is the right choice when symptoms keep getting in the way of daily life.
Want to see what coaching could look like for you?
If you are curious about working with a coach, the first step is a conversation. Book a free strategy call to talk about your goals, ask your questions and see whether coaching feels like a good fit. You can also read more about SustainBL coaching first.
Coaching supports personal and professional growth. It is not therapy, counseling or medical treatment; if you are in crisis, call or text 988.